I Will Not Choreograph The Next Destruction

I Will Not Choreograph The Next Destruction

Monday 10 February 2014

Sloppy Seconds - Destroyed


Let’s start this off with a bang, Sloppy Seconds’ ‘Destroyed’!
First of all, the record cover. Awesome. For those who don’t get it, the title and cover are a reference to a little known band called KISS and their record ‘Destroyer’. Anyone? Anyone at all?
Musically, it’s not comparable to KISS at all. This is just straight punk rock, Ramones style with some rockabilly lead lines chucked in. If any of you like 77’ style punk or the melodic hardcore bands such as The Descendents, The Adolescents, The Faction, etc I would highly suggest you get on this.

Kicking off the record is the provocatively titled ‘I Don’t Wanna Be A Homosexual’ which opens with a funny sound clip, I have no idea what it’s from. After the first minute it cranks into a typical melodic punk track with great, hilarious lyrics and rockabilly ‘clean’ lead guitar lines sprinkled throughout. If this sounds weird to you, trust me, it works. The rhythm guitar plays memorable chord progressions and riffs, all played at a typical punk speed. This is a definite highlight of the record.

‘Come Back Traci’ is up next which is about the 80’s pornstar Traci Lords, as expected; the lyrics are hilarious and clever in a stupid way. Does that make sense? A much shorter track than the opener, Come Back Traci rips through in punk rock fashion with a great rock n roll style solo in the middle. Easily one of my favourites from this record.

‘Take You Home’ is the shortest track on the record at 1.24 minutes and is pretty much a punk rock cliché in the best way possible. Catchy verse, rock n roll solo, key change and chorus with lead lines till end. Great stuff.

‘Black Roses’ has a decidedly more Glam Rock guitar rhythm during the verses and a fantastic catchy straight up punky chorus. Great lyrics and a decent punk tune.

‘Runnin From The CIA’ is very Ramones-y going through the cliché punk rock chord progression with some nice twiddly rock n roll leads. Towards the end there is a sound clip of which, yet again, I can’t tell you what it’s from. Great goofy lyrics about being hounded by the CIA.

‘The Horror of Party Beach’ is a personal favourite of mine, horror lyrics mixed with beach party retardo lyrics.  Super catchy song with surfy guitar leads sprinkled throughout. Another sound clip exits the song which leads us to another favourite of mine…

‘Blackmail’ has the best lyrics of the whole record. Just a totally retarded, goofy punk rock tune about blackmailing people in different situations. If there is one track you should listen to on this record it is this, just funny as hell. Musically it’s pretty much standard punk rock, which is reason alone to listen to it!

‘So Fucked Up’ is my least favourite song on the record. I’m not one for lyrics about being proud of or glorifying drinking, taking drugs, etc unless it’s done in a comical way. Sloppy Seconds pull it off well enough in all their goony glory. Like the rest of the songs here, it’s just a straight punk rock tune with nice solos.

‘Germany’ took a couple listens to get into but now it’s one of my favourites. It’s about getting cheated on by your girlfriend, splitting-up, and then going to Germany to shag sluts. Great stuff! As expected from these guys, it’s another punk rock tune with great lyrics.

‘Janie Is A Nazi’ is another one of my favourites. It’s a goofy track about a girl who becomes a Nazi to the displeasure of our singer. Obviously hilarious lyrics and the inclusion of cowbell and a one note solo is nice! Just catchy as hell, get on it, NOW.

‘I Want ‘Em Dead’ opens up with another sound clip which lasts for a minute until we are hit with a great riff and then a doo-wop chord progression. Funny lyrics about killing random people, what’s not to like about it? An awesome doo-wop style bridge comes in and we end with the chorus. Super catchy verses and chorus’ as expected from these goofballs, another one of my favourites. How many times have I said that now?

‘If I Had A Woman’ is a decent track, pretty much mid-paced punk rock with relatively catchy verses and chorus’. As far as I can tell it’s a song about wanting to have a woman so he can ignore, annoy, refuse, among other things, which in turn, makes him satisfied. Great stuff!

‘Veronica’, much like the last track isn’t as memorable as the previous tracks. Some decent goofy lyrics about a girlfriend who commits suicide and our singer misses her, “but not enough to cry!” It’s pretty much another rock n roll tinged punk tune.

‘The Candy Man’ is a decent cover in goofy, sloppy, punk rock fashion. Some ridiculous, funny, pitch-shifted vocals do some back-up’s throughout. Not bad but not mind-blowing either.

‘Steal Your Beer’ is a decent retardo punk track about coming into town, fucking your daughter, wrecking your home, eating your food and stealing your beer, among some other shenanigans! Like I said before, I’m not big of these types of lyrics but Sloppy Seconds pull it off.

‘Time Bomb’ is the last track, it’s a decent punk rock track with nice back-up vocals that remind me of ‘Give ‘em Enough Rope’ era Clash. These last four tracks kind of let the record down, not that they are bad songs, but when compared to ‘I Don’t Wanna Be A Homosexual’, ‘Come Back Traci’, ‘Blackmail’, ‘Germany’, ‘Janie Is a Nazi’, and so on, they just don’t seem to stack up.

Overall, Sloppy Seconds offer us a blinder of an album packed full of great melodies, chord progressions and leads as well as giving us some of the greatest ‘silly’ lyrics ever written. If it wasn’t for those last few tracks this would be an ‘all-killer, no filler’ deal. I’d definitely suggest you listen to this if you like punk rock, have a sense of humour and don’t take things too seriously. If you were wondering about their other recorded material, this is by far the best stuff. The other records don’t have the overly snotty vocals, rockabilly leads and catchy melodies that this masterpiece has.


Download is below and it’s the 20th Anniversary Edition with even more tracks! Goddamn, I better hurry over to download it myself!

Direct Download

Dr Drunk Blog: Grab the other Sloppy records!
http://drdrunkruinsitforeveryone.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/sloppy-seconds-re-upped.html


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